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Jackie Paladino: On Eating Disorders, Depression, and New Music.

Jackie Paladino is a soul and jazz singer who currently resides in New York City. Her music is intimate as she draws on personal struggles with depression and an eating disorder to craft her songs. Her newest song "Can You Tell Me What Love Is" was just released on SL records based in London. The song is a heartfelt ode to a past relationship, and questions the fine line between lust and true love. Read on to learn about Jackie Paladino and her inspiring story.

Are you originally from Brooklyn?

No, I was born in Staten Island and I was raised in Jersey. I moved to the city for to study music and theatre at NYU.

When did you begin to struggle with eating disorders and depression?

The awareness of it was during my transition to the university. Eating disorders and addiction are more about control than anything else. A lot of the time when you are going through a difficult transition, a lot of stuff will come up. Aside from that, there is a lot of other stuff too. I guess I feel like it's important to understand that eating disorders are not all about body image. A lot of time an eating disorder can stem from body dysmorphia but the underlying part is really just about your relationship with yourself and your relationship with other people. Most people think it is about thinking your not skinny enough or whatever and it's about so much more than that.

How do your battles with depression and eating disorders affect your songwriting?

I guess the silver lining of all the stuff that I went through and still have to struggle with from time to time, is that it did bring me to songwriting and feeling really strong in my identity as a songwriter. It has given me a strong sense of purpose in writing. I was originally writing to heal myself and also thinking about other people who might be experiencing similar things. I wanted to bring a voice to that and whatever silent struggle that they might be experiencing.

It has given me a strong sense of identity as an artist because it is hard for me to write songs that lack a lot of depth and are more fun. I would like to write more songs like that, but most of the music I write about tends to be more serious.

Your music is reminiscent of Amy Winehouse, has she been a big inspiration to you? Do you relate to her struggle as well?

It is weird because I have listened to her, but I would not say she is one of my influences, maybe subconsciously she is more of an influence. I definitely relate to her struggle and I love her and think she is an amazing songwriter and an amazing singer. That documentary completely broke my heart, I could not finish it. I think I see a lot of myself in her story fortunately or unfortunately. Mabey she is more of a dramatized version of my story, I mean we probably have similar influence's which is why people might tell me I sound like her.

Who are some of our influences then?

Traditional soul and jazz performers like Etta James, Ella Fitzgerald, and Otis Redding. I did musical theatre and when I wanted to start writing my own songs that is what I listened to when I was trying to figure out what kind of artist I am.

Your music is so vulnerable, does being on stage tend to bring you confidence or does it bring up old issues about your struggle?

It really depends on the mood and who I am performing for. I think that the last time I performed it made me feel more vulnerable. Some people have asked me "Jackie, why are you singing about all of these sad things, you are just perpetuating all these struggles." So yeah, that makes it a struggle, the last time I performed it definitely made me feel more vulnerable and exposed and it put me in a place that I did not want to be. When I share those experiences with the audience and see how much they love it, it is all worth it.

Why do you think it is important to share your story?

I just met Rumer, an artist that is on Atlantic. She has a soul pop music as well. I told her that I really appreciate her songwriting because she talks about struggling with mental health. I remember reading about how certain doctors told her to stop to performing and she said she did not want to let the disability hinder her from doing what she wanted to do. I was telling her that by sharing her story, she inspired me to keep doing music as well. Fiona Apple, Amy Winehouse, and Leonard Cohen have said similar things, perhaps it inclines them to create great art, I am not sure.

So you have just released a new track, "Can You Tell Me What Love Is?" Could you tell me more about writing this song and what it was like to collaborate with a London-based label on the track?

It is about the general concept of love and infatuation and where the lines are between all of that. It is actually really interesting because I wrote it with a songwriter and producer who based in London. We wrote it after I ran into an ex-boyfriend in an elevator like physically ran into him in an elevator. That song really looks at like why that relationship did not work and whether it was true love or or not. So I think it is pretty cool and powerful song because it was written right after that experience.

Have you faced any obstacles navigating the music industry because you are a woman?

Unfortunately, it is really hard and it is something I am still trying to figure out how to navigate. It takes more of a strategy being a woman because it is definitely a male dominated industry. It is difficult being taken seriously or being treated as a professional and a business woman aside from being just some cute and sensitive artist. Even if someone thinks you are really talented, the elephant in the room is always just like sex or sometimes it's not even the elephant in the room. Sometimes with like business meetings or a follow-up meeting, people will expect that it is a date. It is hard because if I don't go on the date then there won't be a business meeting so it is really not fair. It is something that I am really trying to figure out how to navigate. That whole thing "don't shit where you eat," it has been virtually impossible.

What is some advice that you would give to other female performers struggling with body image issues?

Talk to someone. Don't be afraid. It does not have to be a therapist or your best friend, just the power of sharing your story with someone else can be powerful and life-changing.

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